The Peaceful Potty

Every stage of life has its pros and cons. When my mom friends post pictures of their children's hands under the bathroom door, I remember how nice it is to be able to potty in peace. I try to treasure this part of my current stage in life, because I know (hope/dream/wish) that I won't always have this uninterrupted time in the bathroom. Perhaps my desire to fully appreciate this single life perk is why I am so protective of my interruption-free bathroom time.

Last week, I was using the restroom when my roommate came downstairs to find me. "Lisa?" she called.  "I'm in the bathroom," I answered. And then I heard her sit down. Technically, she wasn't interrupting my bathroom time. But now that I knew someone was waiting outside the door, I did not feel alone. Alone is definitely how I like to feel in the bathroom. Determined to outlast her (because some how me staying in the bathroom for hours would teach her to never sit outside the door and wait for me?) I decided to check all of my social media outlets. I was in there for quite some time. Every time I heard her move outside the door, my resolve solidified. If she wasn't going to leave me alone, I wasn't going to come out. My resolve faded after 20 minutes; bathrooms are kind of boring after that long. I considered taking a bath just to spite her, but I thought the coast was clear (what kind of crazy person waits for someone outside of the bathroom for 20 minutes???). The coast was not clear.

Interruptions: 1
Peaceful Potty: 0

Because I am an evolutionary genius and I know that you have to evolve to remain on top, I adjusted my strategy. Tonight I turned on the fan in the bathroom pre-peaceful potty time. Another roommate came to the door, this time wanting to discuss the latest episode of New Girl. This was obviously not the time. If she waited, away from the door, for 2 minutes, she likely could have engaged me in a riveting conversation on the topic. Alas, she opted to try to talk to me through the door and over the fan instead. Unwilling to have a yelling conversation about New Girl while sitting  on the porcelain throne, I yelled "I can't hear you over the fan!" She complained about the "stupid fan" and retreated. VICTORY!

Interruptions: 1
Peaceful Potty: 1

This post is dedicated to Mom, who never complained to me about all the times I interrupted her while she was on the toilet (although she probably did complain to Dad because he frequently told me to leave her alone so she could potty in peace). I get it now.