I ran over my own car.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike the dentist? I really dislike the dentist. But, in an attempt to be a real grown up, I go to the dentist (sometimes). I had my 6-month check up yesterday. At 7AM. What was I thinking when I set an appointment so early in the morning? GOOD QUESTION. I rolled out of bed (hair in a greasy messy bun, no makeup, oversized hoodie--looking real cute) and headed to the dentist only to learn that I have a dang cavity.

Obviously, the day was off to a great start.

Then, as I was pulling away from the dentist office, I heard a crunch. THE ROAD WAS CLEAR, and I was confused. I rolled down my window and asked the girl (who was staring at my car) if I had hit something. "Your bumper FELL OFF," she said. WHATTTTT?! Who knew that could just happen? My front bumper fell off and I RAN OVER IT. I RAN OVER MY OWN CAR. 

So here I am, in the middle of the road, on top of my own bumper, with NO CLUE what to do or how to get my car off my bumper. Go forward? Go back? I was about to go into full on crisis mode, when a boy crossed the street and helped direct me off of my bumper. But this is Provo, and I wasn't wearing makeup, so of course this wasn't just a random stranger boy. Ohhhhhhh no. This was a boy I had gone on a date with over a year ago and then never spoke to again (classic me). He didn't say anything, and honestly I was not in the mood to bring up the fact that we had gone on a date before, so we just sort of ignored that (or he didn't recognize me) and pretended to be perfect strangers.

Another boy also stopped, and the two of them tried to tell me it wasn't a big deal as they loaded my bumper into my car. I was (am) seriously so grateful for these two. I wasn't buying their "this isn't a big deal" crap, but it was a nice gesture, and I would probably still be stuck in the middle of the road on top of my bumper without them. It's finals week. People are busy. And neither of them made me feel like an inconvenience in their day and neither of them hurried away. I was definitely not  looking cute, so I know they had no ulterior motives. These were quality humans.

Of course the second I drove away (with my bumper in the passenger seat) I burst into tears. I literally bought this car 2 weeks ago. The car issue quickly turned into a Lisa issue. Obviously it was all somehow my fault and I bought the worst car in the world. Thanks to 3+ phone calls to Dad and a very nice body shop guy, I was able to pull myself out of that slump and realize that it was all going to be okay.

And then it kicked in. Carine said it's called White Knight Syndrome. Suddenly that boy who stopped to help, ya know... the one I went on a date with a year ago, suddenly I thought he was the most beautiful man in all of Provo. Naturally, I contacted the friend who had set us up and asked if he was single. He is. So I called him. It went something like this, "Hey! This is Lisa. The girl that ran over her own car today. And also one time we went on a date. I think you're the nicest person in the entire world, and I probably owe you dinner." The kind soul didn't say no. Probably because he agrees that he does deserve a free meal.

The White Knight Syndrome has since worn off. It's probably for the better. I probably would have proposed at dinner if the you-saved-my-life-so-now-I-love-you feelings would have stuck around.

Enjoy this, the only picture of my car pre-bumper casualty. 

The (little) Grand Canyon

This weekend we discovered the little grand canyon. I thought Eliott was taking us to go hike across the prairie, but then BAM! we arrived at this gorgeous location. It was the best. Sunshine, 70 degree weather, and good people. 

 

 

He's got my back

Blogging post-break up is hard. Especially because I am always scared to really blog about my relationships. The downside of not sharing the happy relationship times on the blog is that it is really hard to blog about the ending of a relationship that you, dear reader, know nothing about. Let's just say this one was (is) a doozy.

If there is one thing I have learned (or re-learned) this past week and a half it is that God knows me. He is aware of me, and He has my back.

I was walking to school today fighting back the urge to cry. I had to teach a class this morning on COMMITMENT. On Valentine's day. 11 days after my heart was shattered. I didn't think I could do it. All I wanted was to go home and crawl back into bed and never get out. I started making deals with myself. Get through this lesson and you can go home. You can call in sick to work. You can skip your afternoon class. But you have to teach this class, and you are not allowed to cry until after 10:45. I was barely holding it together. And then my angel came. She had just passed me on the path to school when she turned around and complimented my coat. Then she asked my name. She asked how I was doing. I lied. She walked me the rest of the way to school, gave me a Valentine, and disappeared. I made it through that class. And armed with the reminder that God will get me through the day, I'm still on campus.

God has not left me alone for one second these past 11 days. The list of miracles that have occurred in my life are unbelievable. But they are real. 

Greta was home when it happened. Kyle had snapped saying his plans for the night got cancelled, and she went to respond to him several times saying they should watch a movie or something. But each time she opened the message to respond, she changed her mind. She stayed home without plans on a Friday night. God knew I would need her.

My home teacher was at my house one hour post-break up to give me a blessing. I never have good relationships with home teachers, except right now. I always thought home teaching was just for the rare occasion when someone with no friends needed something. Not me. But all my friends were his friends. I would have had no one to call. On Sunday, the EQ President and a member of the Stake Presidency came to visit. I told the EQ President how grateful I am that with all the changes in home teaching this semester I got to keep my home teachers. If they had been changed I would have had home teachers that would have maybe  home taught me once before the break up. And I wouldn't have called them. The EQ President looked me square in the eyes and said "Lisa, we did change your home teachers. But then we changed them back." God knew I would need them.

My "Love You" balloon from Carine is the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see every night. Mornings and bedtime are the hardest. No one has informed my subconscious dream-making brain that it's over. But every morning the first thing I see when I open my eyes is a reminder that I am loved. I take a deep breath, and I get out of bed. God knew I would need reminded, often.

There are a million other miracles. Tabatha texted me out of the blue the day after the break up just to tell me she loves me. The weather has been beautiful. Greta and Carine have taken the best care of me. Friends I haven't talked to in months have taken me back in immediately and made me feel so loved. Mom has answered all of my middle of the night phone calls. I have been blessed with an abundance of dark chocolate. Anytime I am about to break, a friend shows up. I have a running list of the miracles that have occurred on my computer, and just looking at the list brings tears to my eyes. God is so good. He loves me. He loves you.  He is paying attention. You and I are never alone.

Cost of becoming the favorite aunt: $1

With three boys in the house, Joe and Kori felt they had reached their toy limit. They requested more useful gifts this Christmas, but sometimes you have to bend the rules just a little in order to be dubbed #1 Aunt. With Kori's permission, I got the boys the book "A Book With No Pictures." I think Joe enjoyed listening to Kori read the book (which has adults say silly things) just as much as the boys did! Not wanting the boys to have nothing to play with after opening presents, I grabbed a container of cornstarch and decided we could make some oobleck. 

In my imagination, making oobleck with the boys would consist of them sitting at the table, each with a bowl of oobleck goo in front of them. Pierson, however, decided it would be WAY more fun if we put the oobleck on the table. He also decided it would be WAY more fun to dump a lot of extra water in to make it more runny/messy. And just to top off the fun, he decided this activity could be best enjoyed from sitting on top of the table.

Not one to say no to my favorite boys, I promised Kori I would clean up the mess if she would just let them be as messy as they wanted. Because they are living in an old house they don't care about while in the process of building their dream home, Kori agreed. Crawford was a little unsure of getting messy at first, but he eventually joined his brothers on the table. By bath time, oobleck had made its way into 3 rooms and covered every surface in the dining room. But, more than once, the boys declared me their favorite aunt. WORTH IT.

A Very Merry Unbirthday

Reen likes to start planning Halloween on November 1st. It's not surprising to receive a text from Reen at 3am on a July morning with a list of costume ideas. The girl takes Halloween seriously! I've never loved Halloween, but I love Reen and she reallllllly loves Halloween. So sometimes I catch a bit of her excitement. 

This year: Alice in Wonderland. Gretz was Alice, I was the Mad Hatter, and Carine was the Queen of Hearts. Oh, and Kira was a random pink chef. 

Do you know who else loves Halloween? Josh. He's a dress-up-for-school-type. So instead of my morning run on Halloween, I did his makeup. There is just something a little frightening about spending more time on your boyfriend's makeup for school than you do on your own. But he looked dang good, so... #WorthIt

Megsie Moreno

How did I not blog about Megsie and Best Friend's wedding?! #IHaveABoyfriendSoINeverBlogAnymore

We squeezed into the car (really...we squeezed - there were 5 of us and it was very snuggly, but we really like each other so it was all good) and headed down to San Diego for Megsie's wedding. 

The weather was perfect. The company was perfect. The ceremony was perfect. The sealer maybe messed up Megan's name a time or two, but I think the giggles made the ceremony all the more perfect. 

After 5 zillion hours of post-wedding pictures, we had a quick lunch, made a stop at a sketchy store to buy the newlyweds a gift, and headed to Riverside for the ring ceremony and reception. We were late (like...very late) to the ring ceremony but, lucky for us, they waited until we arrived to start. And then all of the groomsmen decided approximately 7 seconds before the ring ceremony that I needed to re-pin all of their flowers. And only me. No one else could do it. I was still pinning flowers when people started walking down the aisle. Luckily, I was towards the end.

It's weird that Megsie is married. I'm not the biggest fan of sharing her, but it was bound to happen. And if it had to happen, I'm glad it was to Best Friend. I can tell he's a good one. Evidence: he has not put up a fight at all about my insistence that we call each other Best Friend. Other evidence: he makes Megan so happy.

100

Greta and I have been working on a 100 day snapstreak on snapchat for months. Admittedly, some days the only snaps we sent each other were of the floor with no words...just snapping to keep the flame alive. But WE DID IT. Greta and I finally earned the 100 emoji (which, in case you were wondering, only sticks around for 24 hours). It was a smidgen disappointing, but still worth it. 

We used to have the 2 months in a row best friend hearts, but then Josh stole my heart. On snapchat. And real life. Oops.

The Darwin

We love our little Darwin House. It's the cutest. I'm learning a lot about relationships from this adorable place. Let me explain. 

I've recently been learning in several of my classes about commitment. When we are committed to something (I signed a year contract) our minds have great incentive to focus more on the good than the bad. We do this subconsciously (which is why we have less regret buying something if we can't return it). My love for this house gives me great hope that my little non-committal self will one day be perfectly happily married to a less than perfect man.

I love my house so much that...

• The leaky roof is endearing. The sagging ceiling in the kitchen adds a lot of character.
• It's a blessing really that the charming brick walls create a sandbox of brick dust in my bed. It helps motivate me to wash my bedding frequently, and I really do love the smell of freshly laundered bedding.
• The holes in the walls and floors bring in a refreshing breeze, and I am loving getting to wear cozy clothes around the house. Sweatpants, leggings, flannels, sweatshirts, cozy socks...it's nice. It's almost like the house is putting me into cuddle clothes as a way of saying, "Thanks for loving me Lisa; have a snuggle."
• Maybe I should always live in old houses. No matter how much you clean, things never quite look perfectly clean. WHAT A BLESSING! I simply cannot be a perfectionist in this house, so I really don't stress at all about what the house looks like.
• I am really learning to love the buggies with whom we share our home. Not I'm-going-to-stop-killing-them sort of love, but more  I'm-not-as-scared-of-killing-them type love. 

See? The Darwin really is preparing me for the hubs. But really, I love this house. It is hands-down my favorite place I've lived in Provo.  

Disney+

As one last roommate hurrah before we moved and Megan gets married, we took a road trip to California. 10/10 highly recommend.

HOWEVER, 10/10 also recommend that you check the weather before making the drive. Turns out if you don't check the weather/road conditions you might drive into a fire and get stuck in traffic for long amounts of time and then eventually find out the interstate is closed and have to turn around and add lots of time on to the road trip. But, I mean, sometimes traffic is fun. For example, we saw a man get out of the driver's seat and run across 3 lanes of traffic to pee on the side of the road. So, you know, it's not all bad.

We spent our first evening and the entire next day at Venice beach. I looooove the beach.

But do you know what I love MORE than the beach? Disneyland. Even the birds chirp more magically there. Everything is happy and beautiful and wonderful at Disneyland.

I was on a happy-high the entire day. I think I was running on straight happy-juice. I wanted to go go go all day (from park open to close). People keep asking what my favorite part was, but umm... ALL OF IT IS MY FAVORITE. I simply cannot choose. If I told you I had a favorite part, I'd be a liar.

Due to car trouble, Disney day 2 was postponed. BUT that is a blessing in disguise because now we are probably going to go back on my BIRTHDAY weekend/Megan's wedding weekend. How magical is THAT? 

Since we couldn't go to Disney, we spent the next day at Knott's Berry Farm - a super awesome roller coaster park. Since I recently rediscovered my love for roller coasters (Gretz and I went to Lagoon a few days before the California trip), I was excited and braved all the big coasters. We had a blast riding rides and convincing Reenie to flirt with the ride attendants.

These ladies have been game changers. College would not be the same without them. So glad God brought us all together freshman year!

Death by pride

My life is FULL of evidence that God is aware of me. He sends me exactly what I need, but sometimes my stubborn pride gets in the way.

Greta, Megan, and I went on a hike earlier this summer. It was just supposed to be a tiny baby hike, so we didn't bring water. However, we couldn't find the trail at first and ended up hiking up a mountain before realizing there was no way we were on the right trail. So we hiked back down and finally found the right trail. By this point (before we even started the real hike) we were hot and tired. The easy hike did not feel easy to our poor dehydrated bodies. 

While taking a break, a nice man approached us with a huge water bottle FULL of beautiful water. He asked if we needed some water, but our pride spoke before our survival instincts, and we declined the water. He hiked on, and we immediately regretted our decision. I silently wished for another hiker to offer us water, but I knew I was being taught a lesson.

We made it to the waterfall, cooled down, and on the way back we realized how short and easy the hike really was. We had made it a million times harder on ourselves by not being prepared and not accepting the help heaven sent.

It was really obvious that day that my pride got in the way of a beautiful blessing (water), but I can't help but wonder what less obvious blessings my pride blocks.

Growing Up

I had a good conversation with my brother last week in which he reminded me that I am (and have been for awhile) an adult. My adulthood is not contingent upon my graduation date, post-grad plans, or marital status. TRUTH. 

Since that conversation, I have really been embracing adulthood. Top 3 evidences:

1. I made a dentist appointment.
2. Instead of bringing the giant container of homemade fudge sauce to work, I brought a small container. And carrots. Because I think eating mass amounts of chocolate is fine if you also eat vegetables on the same day. Don't try to correct me on this point; I'm an adult danggit.
3. I decided it is time to upgrade from cinder-block wall apartments. We are moving to the cutest house next month. Seriously. It is the most adorable thing ever. Exposed brick walls, white wood floors, clawfoot tub...as soon as we add twinkly lights it will be absolute PERFECTION. The house makes me feel more grown up, and the process leading to the decision to move and finding the house was absolutely drenched in revelation. God brought us to Elite last fall, and now He is leading us to this house. I won't go into all the details here, but Gretz mentioned that she might blog the whole story because it is really way too good to not have recorded somewhere. God knows us. He has a plan. He guides us. He is in control. That has been absolutely undeniable the past few days. Stay tuned for pictures next month!

There are smaller evidences, too. Like how I decided to start taking vitamins (which I forgot to take today, but that's besides the point). And I've been eating more fruits and veggies and tofu. I used to eat tofu in Eugene all the time. I weirdly love it. I made tofu pad thai the other day and Gretz tried it and learned that she doesn't hate tofu at all. Miracle. Mostly the increase in intake of vitamins and tofu are related to this fear I have that I don't eat enough protein and my hair is all going to fall out, and I'll be bald. It's an adult fear, so I guess that is further evidence of my adulthood.

Life doesn't always go according to my plans. I think that's a good thing.

Update: Greta blogged about the housing search! Yay for documenting the whole process! Read the story here.