The mystery of the missing birthday cards (aka SOMEONE STOLE MY BIRTHDAY CARDS!)

I've checked the mail every single day for 2 weeks. I get home from school/work, drop off my backpack, grab the mail key, and skip to the mailbox. I then throw away the junk mail and slump back home, because every day I become a little more convinced that the postman stole my birthday cards.

It has been confirmed that Grandma and Joe & Kori mailed me birthday cards over 2 weeks ago, but the cards never reached my mailbox. Wedding announcements have arrived from across the country with no problem during this time, but birthday cards must be my mailman's favorite. Here is what I would like to tell my dear mailman:

Dear Sir/Madam, 

I am fairly certain you are in possession of my birthday cards. Maybe it is your birthday, too. In that case, happy birthday! I hope you received many birthday cards from your family/friends, as I can tell that you really love cards. You may keep my birthday cards, but I would much appreciate a photo copy of the notes written inside, and, if there were adorable pictures of my nephews included, I would really like to have those as well. If you are using the money found in the cards to feed your babies, escape an abusive situation, or some other worthy cause, be my guest. However, if the money was used to feed an addiction, I am not okay with that and request to be paid back.

Sincerely,

Lisa

On a brighter note, only one week until I get to attend the World Congress of Families!!!