The Nothing Man

I went on a date on Saturday. He was cute and he had given me lots of attention prior to the date (and I hadn't gotten annoyed at him), so things were looking good. And then, only a few minutes into the date, disaster struck.

We were in a museum exhibit about human rights and women's issues. He was certain this was the most boring exhibit in the museum, but I thought we should walk through anyway, because, umm..it was awesome. Standing in front of a wall about the evolution of protests, I asked the boy

Me: If you were to protest something, what would you protest?

The boy: Nothing.

Me: There is nothing you would ever protest?

The boy: I am a white, middle-class male. What would I have to protest?

Me: So you don't think you should use your privilege to help others?

The boy: Nope.

Me (inside my brain, not out loud): Is this a joke? Maybe the word protest was a scary word. 

Me (out loud): Okay...What would you advocate for?

The boy: Nothing.

Me: Nothing? There is no cause you believe in enough to advocate for?

The boy: Nope.

Me: If you could change one thing in the world, anything, what would you change?

The boy: Nothing.

 

At this point, the date might as well have been over. I interpreted this exchange to mean that he doesn't care about other people. Which, considering that he didn't ask me any questions about myself during the date, probably isn't that far-fetched. 

It really was a bummer. He had so much potential. My views of the rest of the date were all colored by this 2 minute interaction at the beginning of the date. The worst part is I think he thought the date was going well. Well, until I accidentally said "Woo!" when he said it was probably time to take me home. Whoops.

My dad wrote a song about the boy. It goes like this (to the tune of "Do you know the muffin man":

Do you know the nothing man

the nothing man

the nothing man

Do you know the nothing man...