The Peaceful Potty

Every stage of life has its pros and cons. When my mom friends post pictures of their children's hands under the bathroom door, I remember how nice it is to be able to potty in peace. I try to treasure this part of my current stage in life, because I know (hope/dream/wish) that I won't always have this uninterrupted time in the bathroom. Perhaps my desire to fully appreciate this single life perk is why I am so protective of my interruption-free bathroom time.

Last week, I was using the restroom when my roommate came downstairs to find me. "Lisa?" she called.  "I'm in the bathroom," I answered. And then I heard her sit down. Technically, she wasn't interrupting my bathroom time. But now that I knew someone was waiting outside the door, I did not feel alone. Alone is definitely how I like to feel in the bathroom. Determined to outlast her (because some how me staying in the bathroom for hours would teach her to never sit outside the door and wait for me?) I decided to check all of my social media outlets. I was in there for quite some time. Every time I heard her move outside the door, my resolve solidified. If she wasn't going to leave me alone, I wasn't going to come out. My resolve faded after 20 minutes; bathrooms are kind of boring after that long. I considered taking a bath just to spite her, but I thought the coast was clear (what kind of crazy person waits for someone outside of the bathroom for 20 minutes???). The coast was not clear.

Interruptions: 1
Peaceful Potty: 0

Because I am an evolutionary genius and I know that you have to evolve to remain on top, I adjusted my strategy. Tonight I turned on the fan in the bathroom pre-peaceful potty time. Another roommate came to the door, this time wanting to discuss the latest episode of New Girl. This was obviously not the time. If she waited, away from the door, for 2 minutes, she likely could have engaged me in a riveting conversation on the topic. Alas, she opted to try to talk to me through the door and over the fan instead. Unwilling to have a yelling conversation about New Girl while sitting  on the porcelain throne, I yelled "I can't hear you over the fan!" She complained about the "stupid fan" and retreated. VICTORY!

Interruptions: 1
Peaceful Potty: 1

This post is dedicated to Mom, who never complained to me about all the times I interrupted her while she was on the toilet (although she probably did complain to Dad because he frequently told me to leave her alone so she could potty in peace). I get it now.

Off.

I woke up this morning at the usual time. I rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to wash my face. Then I sat in front of the mirror and put on my makeup. I checked the time. 7:45 AM. I lost my mind:

How is it already so late??? I woke up at the same time I always wake up...How do I usually have time to shower & do my hair?! I pulled my hair up, threw on some clothes, and went to the kitchen to grab breakfast. I'm STARVING. I'm already late, might as well make myself breakfast. I should text Gwen and tell her I'll be late to morning meeting. It's 7:55, so there is no way I'll be at work by 8:00 even if I leave right now.

I got to work around 8:15. The thing is, WORK STARTS AT 8:30. I was definitely not late; I was actually early. Has work ever started at 8:00? No. I have no explanation.

And that was the omen for how my day would go. Everything felt off all day. 

I witnessed a chicken nugget deal. It was kind of like a drug deal, except really they were just trying to get their nugget fix. It reminded me of the movie Heavyweights. Gotta do whatcha gotta do to get those nuggets.

Let's just say I am REAL excited for the weekend. Catch me not leaving my house all weekend and watching GenCon in my jammies! JK, I have breakfast plans Saturday morning & a date Saturday night so probably I'll have to put on real clothes. Lame.

Hello, 2018.

Have you ever seen the movie Age of Adaline? It's my favorite. In the movie, Adaline goes to a fancy New Year's Eve party. We were watching the movie for approximately the zillioneth time when Greta & I decided that we definitely need to attend a formal New Year's Eve party at least once in our lifetime. However, New Year's Eve (and Greta's birthday!) fell on a Sunday this year...and all the super formal parties cost SO MUCH MONEY. We ended up settling for a semi-formal New Year's Eve eve benefit event.

The event was circus themed, and aerialist dancers performed above the dance floor, with a sword & ring dancer on the stage. There was tons of food, including all-you-could-eat cotton candy in flavors like mango & tiger's blood! Waiting in line to play carnival games we heard the people behind us talking about how they  met at a millionaires workshop. We were feeling pretty high-class that night. And young. I have never been hit on by so many older gentlemen before.

We counted down to Greta's 25th birthday with a 2,000 balloon drop & Martinelli's toast.I told her we threw the whole party for her, but I don't think she's buying it.

Christmas 2017

Three things to remember about Christmas 2017:

1. Hosting Christmas

Mom, Dad, and Liv came to visit for Christmas! It was perfect. I couldn't take off a lot of time around the holidays, so they made the trek across the country to visit me this time. They stayed at my house and it was so fun to show off my grown up life. We ate at all my favorite places, went snow tubing, saw Savior of the World, attended Music & the Spoken Word, and did so many more fun things!

2. Feeling Grown Up

I decorated our house for Christmas & everyone who came over described our house as "cozy" and I think that is the best compliment EVER. I loved coming home to our tree every night, and taking it down just about broke my heart.

3. A Broken Heart & A Better Understanding of God

Christmas at House of Hope is pretty magical, and it was fun (most of the time) to get to play a major role in the Christmas efforts. I love that our women EARN Christmas for their kiddos. They do special chores and assignments to earn Christmas presents for their kids (which really provides them with a great sense of accomplishment & pride at being able to give their kids Christmas). But sometimes moms decide not to do our Christmas program. And that about killed me. 

One of my clients decided the task was too overwhelming, and decided to give up. I tried to work with her to help her see how do-able the work was. I even went to the executive director because I was so stressed that this client's kids might not get Christmas. She told me that it would be harder for me than it would be for the kids, since they wouldn't know what they were missing. I tried and tried to talk to the mom, but I couldn't change her mind.

When we were going through the donations, I saw the perfect toys for this client's children. There I was, holding everything on their wish list, knowing they wouldn't get it. MY HEART BROKE. Sitting in sacrament meeting weeks later, I realized that Heavenly Father feels the same way when I forgo blessings He is EAGER to give to me because I don't do what He asks, or because I don't ask for those blessings.

I feel SO BLESSED to have a job that helps me know God better.

Delivering presents on Christmas Eve!

Fall Things

I am in LOVE with the fall leaves. G and I finally made it up to Ruth's Diner, a little diner built out of a train car up in the canyon, for brunch. Lucy has been telling me about this place for years, and it was well worth the 45 minute wait--especially since we were waiting in such beautiful scenery!

Greta and I have very few pictures together, despite the fact that we are together the majority of the time. We've set a goal to rectify that!

Holding these balloons still for a picture was SO hard. But we were determined, because I love my birthday balloons. I would highly recommend turning 25.

Our first roommate picture! Love that I still get to live with my college besties & feel so blessed that our new roommate, Evann, is so much fun!

The Nothing Man

I went on a date on Saturday. He was cute and he had given me lots of attention prior to the date (and I hadn't gotten annoyed at him), so things were looking good. And then, only a few minutes into the date, disaster struck.

We were in a museum exhibit about human rights and women's issues. He was certain this was the most boring exhibit in the museum, but I thought we should walk through anyway, because, umm..it was awesome. Standing in front of a wall about the evolution of protests, I asked the boy

Me: If you were to protest something, what would you protest?

The boy: Nothing.

Me: There is nothing you would ever protest?

The boy: I am a white, middle-class male. What would I have to protest?

Me: So you don't think you should use your privilege to help others?

The boy: Nope.

Me (inside my brain, not out loud): Is this a joke? Maybe the word protest was a scary word. 

Me (out loud): Okay...What would you advocate for?

The boy: Nothing.

Me: Nothing? There is no cause you believe in enough to advocate for?

The boy: Nope.

Me: If you could change one thing in the world, anything, what would you change?

The boy: Nothing.

 

At this point, the date might as well have been over. I interpreted this exchange to mean that he doesn't care about other people. Which, considering that he didn't ask me any questions about myself during the date, probably isn't that far-fetched. 

It really was a bummer. He had so much potential. My views of the rest of the date were all colored by this 2 minute interaction at the beginning of the date. The worst part is I think he thought the date was going well. Well, until I accidentally said "Woo!" when he said it was probably time to take me home. Whoops.

My dad wrote a song about the boy. It goes like this (to the tune of "Do you know the muffin man":

Do you know the nothing man

the nothing man

the nothing man

Do you know the nothing man...

I'm not saying I'm a gold digger

I went on a date with a millionaire last week. Okay, I don't actually know that he's a millionaire...but I'm pretty sure. My cyber stalking revealed quite a lot about this guy, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping he would pick me up in his Lamborghini. He picked me up in his Audi instead. It was fun to play rich for the night. He insisted we order one of every single thing on the menu that either of us wanted to try. The food had to be brought out in waves because we ordered way too much to fit on the table. While I don't think either of us would ever choose to go back to that restaurant (Louisiana food in Utah...what a joke) it was definitely a memorable experience. He was attractive and nice, but not really my type. While there was a piece of me that wanted to throw myself at him his wallet, that "I'm not saying she's a gold digger" song got stuck in my head and it was just so not worth it.

This experience led me to make a minor adjustment to my "meh" dating theory. The theory: Most dates are meh. They are neither good enough or bad enough to make for a good story. Getting out of the meh category is the key to successful dating, and the cure for 1st date boredom. HOWEVER, I would not consider my date with the millionaire an above average date. He was pretty meh. Just an average guy. The food was also pretty meh, maybe even below average. BUT the date did make for a pretty great story. I mean, how often do you order every entree at a restaurant? The new theory: to escape "meh" you must either be a good date, bad date, or rich.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Balance

My goal for the week was to live a more balanced life. NAILED IT.

I only worked late one day and I filled my evenings with social activities. Monday night we went to Seven Peaks for a tri-stake activity. Very fun, despite the wedgies that are absolutely impossible to avoid at water parks. On Wednesday we went to Lady A concert #2, which I think was even better than Lady A concert #1. Even the openers were amazing.

Last night, we had a LSU vs BYU football party. LSU totally dominated (which was not a surprise), and we had the best group of people over to watch the fame with us and enjoy gumbo, a bomb Dr. Pepper bar, and sparklers (What's a party without a little firework action? Can you believe that one of our attendees had never done sparklers?!).

My life is nothing like I would have imagined it to be, but I love it so much.

Lisa the career lady?

There were only 3 jobs I wanted as a child: checkout worker at the grocery store, teacher, or anything in a fancy office building as long as I could wear heels that would make a satisfying clicky noise when I walked down the hall. I probably make about the same amount of money as a checkout worker. I teach a couple classes each week. And, although the building isn't fancy, my shoes do sometimes make clicky noises. I guess you could say I'm living the dream.

I really do love my job. Like, a lot. I work late more often than not, and I could talk about my job for hours without boring myself. I was talking to a friend this weekend and came to the realization that I spend so much time at work because I feel needed there. I know I am making an impact. And it feels good.

I never really thought I'd be a career lady. And I definitely never thought I'd be a work obsessed career lady. But here I am, single, with lots of time on my hands. I'm quickly realizing how easy it is to become so concerned about work that other things in your life take a back seat. Right now, I can afford to spend extra time at work here and there, but I need to remember to work hard at learning to live a balanced life. Practicing balance in my work/home life now, will help me be better at balancing in the future when *fingers crossed* I have a family that needs me to be an A+ balancer.

While seeking for that balance, I am grateful to have found a job that I truly love. I didn't even know if that was possible a year ago. But good news: IT IS. 

Here are 10 good things about my job:

1. I work with people who love their job.
2. I witness miracles on a daily basis.
3. I'm learning important life skills.
4. I am actually utilizing my Family Life degree!
5. I'm learning to follow through with consequences, which is not my favorite thing, but I think it's really good for me to learn to hold people accountable.
6. I'm learning to take feedback.
7. I'm learning time management.
8. Sometimes I get to snuggle babies.
9. I get to help women learn to be transitional characters, changing the lives of generations to come.
10. Perspective. I have gained so much gratitude for my oh so privileged life.

I've dated all the boys.

I was in the kitchen making dinner tonight when I heard my roommate and her boyfriend chatting in her room. That's when it hit me. I immediately stopped cooking, found her on Facebook, and searched her friends list. It was confirmed: her boyfriend was my first Bumble date, several months ago.

I thought he looked familiar when I met him. He's at my house practically every time she's home, and I've lived here for over a month. How did I not see it before??? Then again, he's never said anything either. Does he recognize me? Time will tell. I feel like I can't just announce that I've all of a sudden realized we went on a date. The timing has to be right. Translation: I can't just come out and say it when she's sketching out wedding rings or they're making out. But also if I don't say something soon, I feel like that's weird too. I really thought my days of running into people I've gone on dates with ended when I moved to Salt Lake. In Provo it was pretty common for me to run into multiple people a day that I had gone out with, but Salt Lake was my fresh start. Or so I thought.

Moral of the story: Be nice to everyone you go on dates with, because you never know if you'll end up living with their next girlfriend?  Or maybe the real moral of the story is I've gone on too many dates. I quit. But not really because I already have a date set up for this week.

I ran over my own car.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike the dentist? I really dislike the dentist. But, in an attempt to be a real grown up, I go to the dentist (sometimes). I had my 6-month check up yesterday. At 7AM. What was I thinking when I set an appointment so early in the morning? GOOD QUESTION. I rolled out of bed (hair in a greasy messy bun, no makeup, oversized hoodie--looking real cute) and headed to the dentist only to learn that I have a dang cavity.

Obviously, the day was off to a great start.

Then, as I was pulling away from the dentist office, I heard a crunch. THE ROAD WAS CLEAR, and I was confused. I rolled down my window and asked the girl (who was staring at my car) if I had hit something. "Your bumper FELL OFF," she said. WHATTTTT?! Who knew that could just happen? My front bumper fell off and I RAN OVER IT. I RAN OVER MY OWN CAR. 

So here I am, in the middle of the road, on top of my own bumper, with NO CLUE what to do or how to get my car off my bumper. Go forward? Go back? I was about to go into full on crisis mode, when a boy crossed the street and helped direct me off of my bumper. But this is Provo, and I wasn't wearing makeup, so of course this wasn't just a random stranger boy. Ohhhhhhh no. This was a boy I had gone on a date with over a year ago and then never spoke to again (classic me). He didn't say anything, and honestly I was not in the mood to bring up the fact that we had gone on a date before, so we just sort of ignored that (or he didn't recognize me) and pretended to be perfect strangers.

Another boy also stopped, and the two of them tried to tell me it wasn't a big deal as they loaded my bumper into my car. I was (am) seriously so grateful for these two. I wasn't buying their "this isn't a big deal" crap, but it was a nice gesture, and I would probably still be stuck in the middle of the road on top of my bumper without them. It's finals week. People are busy. And neither of them made me feel like an inconvenience in their day and neither of them hurried away. I was definitely not  looking cute, so I know they had no ulterior motives. These were quality humans.

Of course the second I drove away (with my bumper in the passenger seat) I burst into tears. I literally bought this car 2 weeks ago. The car issue quickly turned into a Lisa issue. Obviously it was all somehow my fault and I bought the worst car in the world. Thanks to 3+ phone calls to Dad and a very nice body shop guy, I was able to pull myself out of that slump and realize that it was all going to be okay.

And then it kicked in. Carine said it's called White Knight Syndrome. Suddenly that boy who stopped to help, ya know... the one I went on a date with a year ago, suddenly I thought he was the most beautiful man in all of Provo. Naturally, I contacted the friend who had set us up and asked if he was single. He is. So I called him. It went something like this, "Hey! This is Lisa. The girl that ran over her own car today. And also one time we went on a date. I think you're the nicest person in the entire world, and I probably owe you dinner." The kind soul didn't say no. Probably because he agrees that he does deserve a free meal.

The White Knight Syndrome has since worn off. It's probably for the better. I probably would have proposed at dinner if the you-saved-my-life-so-now-I-love-you feelings would have stuck around.

Enjoy this, the only picture of my car pre-bumper casualty.